Alone
Bismillahirrahmanirrahim..
"We have those who will love us even if we cut them into pieces, and those who will hate us even if we feed them with honey"
-Imam Ali bin Abi Talib
Currently I'm at the phase of reflecting myself. While I was doing this, suddenly I wonder why did I felt so lonely these past few years? I have many friends..yes. But those who can really sit with me and listen to my story with their heart open is...one.
I don't know whether I'm being paranoid or whatsoever but one thing I know for sure, none of my friends really know how to value memories. I'm the type of girl that remembers every single thing, be it bad or good. And those memories will forever stay with me.
When I was around 16 or 17, I fear of being alone. I don't want to live my life without my friends (I mean when I'm not with my family). You know this saying that goes "friends are like your second family after your parents". So I treat my friends like my own family believing that I know that they will always be there for me and I'll always be there for them too.
But it turns out that I'm wrong. Totally wrong. I learn that there are really a lot of fake people and know what? I can't tolerate those who pretending like they care about me when they really don't give a ****. So that's the main reason why I'm kind of harsh to myself and to others.
Some of my secondary school friends said that I've changed a lot. Last time I used to be that sweet, cute little girl and doesn't even know how to curse. But hey! Time is moving and people change aite? If you know me in the past and present, you can see the transitions. If you know me in the current days, I'm sorry if I really curse a lot at you. (May Allah forgive me).
Now, I'm better off being alone and need no help from my friends. I have this habit of thinking "why would I ask for my friend's help when they don't really sincere about giving?"
Please do understand me and why I'm being such a tough and brutal girl to everyone. I'm not faking myself but basically I'm more free to express myself compared to last time when I prefer to hide my inner feelings.
And oh yeah, I remembered that Taylor Swift said something during her Red Tour in Malaysia. She said this before she started performing 'Mean', "as I grew up, I realised that we never stop encountering mean kids". Very well said Taylor. I really love her and she describes me the best ;)
"We have those who will love us even if we cut them into pieces, and those who will hate us even if we feed them with honey"
-Imam Ali bin Abi Talib
Currently I'm at the phase of reflecting myself. While I was doing this, suddenly I wonder why did I felt so lonely these past few years? I have many friends..yes. But those who can really sit with me and listen to my story with their heart open is...one.
I don't know whether I'm being paranoid or whatsoever but one thing I know for sure, none of my friends really know how to value memories. I'm the type of girl that remembers every single thing, be it bad or good. And those memories will forever stay with me.
When I was around 16 or 17, I fear of being alone. I don't want to live my life without my friends (I mean when I'm not with my family). You know this saying that goes "friends are like your second family after your parents". So I treat my friends like my own family believing that I know that they will always be there for me and I'll always be there for them too.
But it turns out that I'm wrong. Totally wrong. I learn that there are really a lot of fake people and know what? I can't tolerate those who pretending like they care about me when they really don't give a ****. So that's the main reason why I'm kind of harsh to myself and to others.
Some of my secondary school friends said that I've changed a lot. Last time I used to be that sweet, cute little girl and doesn't even know how to curse. But hey! Time is moving and people change aite? If you know me in the past and present, you can see the transitions. If you know me in the current days, I'm sorry if I really curse a lot at you. (May Allah forgive me).
Now, I'm better off being alone and need no help from my friends. I have this habit of thinking "why would I ask for my friend's help when they don't really sincere about giving?"
Please do understand me and why I'm being such a tough and brutal girl to everyone. I'm not faking myself but basically I'm more free to express myself compared to last time when I prefer to hide my inner feelings.
And oh yeah, I remembered that Taylor Swift said something during her Red Tour in Malaysia. She said this before she started performing 'Mean', "as I grew up, I realised that we never stop encountering mean kids". Very well said Taylor. I really love her and she describes me the best ;)
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