Welcome to July, welcome to Ramadhan!

Assalamualaikum...

ahah! now dah masuk bulan Julai, so that means still a few days to Ramadhan and entering a university for me. Kawan-kawan aku semua dah start buat assignment and all lab reports yg selalu diupdate di laman twitter masing-masing, aku? hahaha. lifeless.

Now, I'm just doing what I should be doing to get myself prepare for the university life. I keep telling myself that this time I won't get defeated by others like I did during my SPM. But...you know. The desire to watch all those kdramas are higher than reading a Biology book. See? How can I survive to be a doctor? 

But, I still don't know much, I don't have a clear vision of what kind of future that I'm going to have. It can only be determined after my foundation results are out. I hope I don't make a wrong decision regarding this matter. It really affects my future career. 

 Celebrating Ramadhan as 18-year old girl...

Pejam celik..pejam celik...tahun ni aku dah berumur 18 tahun. In the future, I shall be the one who gives away the 'duit raya' instead of waiting the elders to give me :P Like as many other kids in this world, when it comes to raya, the most exciting thing is to get your pocket full with money. After that, either your mother will keep it for you inside the bank or you'll spend it right away to buy the things that you wanted.

As a child, getting 'duit raya' is fun. Extremely fun. It's an irreplaceable experience! Not only that, its more about the feelings when you get to gather with your big family and meet all your cousins whom you can play with. Those feelings that makes me excited whenever I go back to my hometown which is in Kelantan.

Nowadays, those feelings that I used to feel when I was a small kid slowly fading away. Maybe its because all of us are growing up, so working hard to earn money for the family is something essential. Some of my cousins has been married and they even have their own child to take care of. Now I see that this is how the life cycles go. That's why older people used to say: "Enjoy your life by doing good deeds and spend your childhood and teenage life by doing what you really wanted to do. You are going to miss it a lot as you get older". I guess that's true though.

So when I go back to my hometown, I could hear the sounds of my niece and nephew playing happily without thinking about any problems. When I was their age, I really enjoyed that time. Truly enjoyed. How sad that my closest cousins are now in Egypt to study Medicine. How embarrassed I was is not something to be denied.  I don't think I have the ability to face them anymore.

I have this kind of dirty thinking that I swear to myself I will never go back to my hometown until I was confirmed to go to a medical school or until I get my degree. That should be around 5-6 years later. Never mind. That's what it takes for me to sacrifice for my future.

Still, I hope the best to come out. I hope to prove to everyone whoever look down on me! You'll regret to death when you see me in the future! Hahahaha. Okay, that sounds too evil ;)

I got to go. Bye. Assalamualaikum!